An Eye for an Eye, My Dear Alfred
by 7dragons7
Summary: I've courted you. I've made you love me. I've taken all you have. So here in this moment of ecstasy I will break you. This is my revenge, my dear Alfred.   Angst. UKxUS Some smut. And more angst.
1. An Eye for an Eye, Alfred

Alfred's moans filled the bedroom. It was a soft sound. Enjoyable. Such a different sound then what you normally heard out of the American. The loud laugh and voice. Arthur could grow to love-

No.

He had to stop thinking like that. He had spent lots of time and effort into courting the American. He did everything necessary to make the Alfred fall in love with him. He had planned it all. Planned this very moment for years. Alfred would feel what he had felt those many many years ago.

Revenge. That's all this was to him. Nothing more or less. He had no attachment to America. All his love had died in the rain that day. The boy whom he had raised. Who had been the apple of his eye betrayed him. Cut out his heart and broke away from him. He loved that boy. And he had left him. Started a war with him. And won that war! The betrayal of these actions hurt so terribly…

He'd return the feelings tenfold.

Emerald eyes watched the American squirm under him. Eventually hitting his climax. Covering himself with his own seed. The Englishman groaned thrusting in a few more times before finishing as well. He sighed contently. Slowly looking up at those crystal blue eyes.

Those sapphires… hazy and satisfied. They held a look that said without a doubt that the American loved the man above him. Alfred said it often enough these days. He said it back, but he never meant them. He held nothing but contempt for the American. Truly…

Alfred pushed himself up, leaning in to kiss Arthur gently. But England pulled away before America's lips could meet his skin. Arthur pulled out of Alfred and got off the bed. Earning a confused look from the younger nation.

"I'm sorry… did I do something wrong?" he watched the Englishman pick up his garments. Blue eyes growing more and more confused with each passing moment. This wasn't in the movies. They were supposed to lie back in bed and cuddle and whisper how much they loved each other...

"I've had better," Arthur stated. The first honest thing he'd told Alfred in a while.

America flinched hurt. "It was my first time… I'll get better."

"Hmm."

"I'm sorry." America looked down, embarrassed. "Y-You aren't going to stay?"

Arthur looked down at the American on the bed. His heart felt heavy. But why? He had been planning this for years. "No. I've taken what I wanted, I'm leaving now."

"Wh-what?" Alfred looked absolutely confused and sad. His blue eyes held a fear and panic that Arthur had never seen in them before. "What do you mean? I'm sorry, I said I'll get better. I love you Iggy, ple-"

"I don't love you Alfred."

The silence lasted for a moment as the American tried to grasp and process what was just said. His face contorted in absolute confusion.

"That's not true… you said-"

"I lied."

Arthur never talk his eyes off Alfred. He wanted to see what all his hard work had done. This is what he wanted. To break Alfred as Alfred had broken him.

"You lied… why… why would you? I don't…" Tears began to form in the corner of the American's eyes, his lip quivering slightly.

"Must you be so slow to grasp everything?" The Englishman scolded, exasperated that the American couldn't figure it out yet. It was best to spell it out for the lad then. "It was all a lie. Everything I did and said was to just get this, and that was it."

Large tears fell from the American's eyes. "You did all this… everything you ever said… and did… it was just so you could sleep with me?" The large tears left trails along Alfred's cheeks all the way down his face to his chin falling off onto the bed. They seemed endless. One after another. The sobs were starting as well. And try as he might Alfred could not suppress them.

"Now you know how I felt, when you left me in the rain, all those years ago."

Glassy blue eyes went wide. Shocked. That's what this was about? The American buried his face in his hands, sobs wracking his whole body as he cried. Devastation. The truth. That for all the love he thought he had, was a lie. And all the love he had given in return was for nothing. The sobs were growing more and more hysterical by the moment.

This is what Arthur had wanted right?

He didn't feel the satisfaction he thought he would.

Why was that?

He fastened the last button on his shirt, and turned to leave. His steps making no noise as they headed for the door. Carefully he gripped the doorknob to the bedroom. Turning to look at the American one last time before he left. A little surprised that he hadn't been stopped, or been told he was lying. But Alfred was always an idiot. The American had always believed everything that came out of the Englishman's mouth. It was how he had gotten Alfred to fall in love with him after all.

Emerald colored eyes looked over the sobbing American. Alfred was no longer holding back his sobs. Out right balling at this point. There were gasping sounds as he struggled to breath in-between his hysterics. It was just as he had imagined it would be. Yet the feeling was not the same.

"Happy Anniversary, Alfred."

Arthur stepped out slamming the bedroom door close and he ran. He didn't know why he ran, but he did. He ran down the steps and to the front door where his shoes and coat waited for him. He yanked open the front door and slammed it behind him.

He froze as a scream of agony and pain rang out from inside the house. It was drowned out by the loudest clap of thunder Arthur had ever heard. He flinched at the sound of it. The Brit rested against the front door. His emerald eyes wide.

All the while his mind was reminding him that this is what he wanted. This is what all his plotting had led up to. To make the American fall in love with him and then rip out his heart. Take everything he had to offer. An eye for an eye. The feelings of his betrayal back then during the revolution would be returned ten fold. Now America knew what it was like. Knew what he had felt. And wasn't it perfect? He had just taken the American too. Truly taking all he had. This is what he had wanted!

Arthur placed a hand over his eyes as the rain poured down around the house. Lightening flashing around him lighting up the dark area. And thunder booming from just over the house it sounded like.

Why didn't it feel like he had succeeded?

Why didn't it feel like he had gotten his revenge?

He felt tears falling from his eyes and he hated himself for them.

His heart was hurting so badly. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. He'd laugh and run off feeling victorious. His revenge finally complete.

He let out a muffled sob and bolted away from the house and into the rain. Running as fast as he could. He didn't understand. He had done it! He wanted to feel happy and celebrate back in London with a drink at his favorite pub in victory. But he didn't feel like doing any of those things. Well, he did feel like drinking, but not in any kind of victory.

The Englishman just kept running into that rainy night, not daring to look back.

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><p>AN

I am full of angst and needed to finally put up this sad thing I wrote months ago for Valentines Day. Yeah. Valentines Day… :U But anyway I just wrote the last few sentences and then it was finished.

I want to continue this… but I don't. So I'll let other people decide. If you want it to go on just review and say MOAR, or something like that.

I believe that I'll just end up ruining an agsty fic by adding more to it. But whatevs. I'll do what the public demands… not that I need to start anymore hetalia fics… My bata will be like 8U Seriously? And I'll just tell her I have issues.

I only have her bata big projects. So if this is grammar fail it's my fault. Mah bad. But yeah, just let me know if you want more. And I'll see what I can do.


	2. Broken Birds Don't Fly Back, Arthur

A/N You ask and you will receive. For those who wanted another chapter. There is more where this came from, should you desire it.

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><p>His heart was breaking. Really and truly breaking. It hurt so much he thought DC might suffer because of how much pain he was in. He stayed on his couch for days. He didn't even know how long.<p>

The phone would ring and ring. Faint voices on his answering machine of people he may know. His bosses secretary. His boss. Mattie. Francis. Kiku, maybe… but it didn't matter. None of it matted.

The American would just lay on his couch and stare blankly at the television. If it was on or off. Whatever Tony had on to watch or play… it didn't matter. Tony even tried to get him to eat but he couldn't stomach anything.

He hugged one of the couch pillows to his chest. Everything inside felt so broken. He had been tricked and deceived by the one person he loved more then anything. Had always loved… How did you recover from something like that? Tears fell just thinking about it.

Alfred closed his eyes tightly. It hurt… it just hurt to much.

"Alfred! Alfred! Wake up!"

The American stirred slightly feeling the sofa he was on shit slightly because of another person's weight. He felt his face being tapped.

"Come on Alfie… wake up."

"Mattie…" he muttered slightly. He glanced at darker blue eyes behind thin frames. The brother sighed softly. "God Alfred… you've been missing for almost two weeks… everyone is worried about you."

"Not everyone…"

Mathew looked over at the other person in the room.

France.

France was inspecting the living area thoroughly. He finally looked over at Alfred, kneeling before the couch. He placed a hand on the younger nation's face looking him over. "Amérique…" he said softly. "You do not look well… have you been eating? Sleeping? Anything?" concern was laced in his words.

Alfred just moved away from the touch. Not saying another word to either of them. Mattie looked at the Frenchman, his face showing nothing but concern for his normally loud brother. "What happened…?"

Francis stood upright moving away from the couch. "I'm going to look around a little more…" he strode briskly up the stairs. He was fairly uncertain what he was looking for but a quick look wouldn't hurt. He approached the American's bedroom. The sheets were a mess. But not the kind of mess they get into from just waking up. France folded his arms over his chest his eyes narrowed in suspicion. He turned on his heel and strode back downstairs.

"Amérique," he said softly as he entered the living room once more. "Where is Angleterre?" The name had the effect the Frenchman thought they would. The young American's eyes filled with tears and he buried his face in his pillow once more. A muffled sob escaping the other.

Canada scooted closer, wrapping his arms around his brother. "Alfred…" he said softly. "What happened? Talk to us…"

"M-Mattie…" sobbed the American softly as he began to tell them what happened.

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><p>"Francis!" the Canadian called after the Frenchman. "Wait." He got up from the couch and ran after the older nation who just got up and left after the story had finished.<p>

"Stay here," France ordered. "Stay here with your brother."

"Where are you going?" Canada asked concerned but stopped following. It was true. Neither could leave the brokenhearted American.

"The meeting."

Mattie had completely forgotten that. The whole reason they had come here was to find Alfred. But as soon as the blonde had found his brother he had completely forgotten the reason why he was here. "Alright… I'll stay." They wouldn't miss him anyway. "What am I going to do with Alfred?"

"Take care of him as best you can. Nothing cures a broken heart. But time can mend anything eventually."

"Alright…" Mathew agreed watching the Frenchman leave. He slowly walked back into Alfred's home where he could still hear the choked back sobs and sniffles.

"Oh Al…" Canada said softly sitting down beside his brother and pulling him into his arms. "I know… it's alright… it'll be alright." But he truly didn't know if it would be alright. Alfred had loved Arthur for a long long time.

"_He's hurting my people Mattie… and I'm going to make him stop…" _

_The young blonde watched his brother through large dark blue eyes. He sighed slightly. "Do what you must… I do not condone or condemn the path you are taking." _

"_He'll hate me…"_

"_Probably…" _

"_But eventually he'll see me. My people will stop hurting and he'll see me. Not as a brother. But as Alfred." the young colony turned to look at his brother. "I can't wait for when he does. I'll wait forever. One day he'll see me." _

_Mathew took a moment before speaking again. "Do you love him?" he asked curiously. _

"_I couldn't tell you. I don't know anything about love or stuff like that. But I knew when I took his hand in the field that day when he found me. That I wanted to be with him forever. But as I got bigger and the years passed by I realized that I still want to be with him forever, just not in the same way I had when I was younger… But I know his perception of me hasn't changed at all. And it wont. So I have to force a change. He'll hate me. Probably for a long time but I'll wait forever. Forever and ever." _

_The other colony nodded slightly. "I understand. Go do what you have to do Alfred." _

And Alfred had waited. For a long time. And then finally Arthur agreed. He had never seen America smile so happily before. He had seen the American smile before of course. He was always smiling. But this was so bright, so pure. Alfred had truly been happy. So happy it was contagious. Mathew would smile at just being around the American.

He would have never thought that it was all a lie… that Arthur was faking it. That thought made the normally calm Canadian so angry.

Alfred would turn to the other and kiss him gently and say he loved Arthur. In private. Public. Wherever. The words would just spill from the young nation's lips. They were sincere and honest. It never had to be questioned. Alfred said things without thinking a good part of the time. So his I love yous were right from his heart. Everything he ever told the older nation were sincere and honest.

And when the Brit would hear them he'd flush slightly and look away. But he'd repeat them with a smile. His emerald green eyes would shine slightly. Sometimes when Alfred looked away the green eyes would grow dark. A bit pained.

But Mathew had never thought that it had all been a lie.

And to take that first time from Alfred. Make it something like that? It was so cruel… so terribly cruel. Tears burned in his eyes at how cruel it was. Alfred's heartbroken sobs tore his heart to pieces.

And all because Alfred left? Because of the revolutionary war? As payback? A low blow and move. Arthur had his damn revenge about that already. He had helped in hurting the other once before. And hadn't Alfred coming to the rescue twice in the World Wars clear up any bad blood?

"Wh-Where did France go?" Alfred sniffled sadly.

"To the meeting. But you and I are going to stay here. And watch movies and-"

"I want to go." he cut the other off.

Canada looked at his brother with wide eyes. He couldn't let America go. Not in this state. Not when Arthur was going to be there. "Al-"

"Please. Let me go. I'm not dumb. I wont mix business and personal. I have to go…"

The Canadian hesitated as he looked into sad sky blue eyes.

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><p>If he had been sober at any time the past few days he didn't know it. He was only reluctantly sober right now because they had a G8 meeting. The Brit rubbed his temples as he sat down at the table.<p>

"England-san… you look…" Japan took a seat beside him struggling to find the right word.

"Like shit," Romano finished for the other nation.

"Ve~" Italy agreed.

Arthur knew very well that he probably looked bloody terrible. He had nasty dark circles under his eyes and his eyes were bloodshot. His skin was a nasty pale sickly color. He rested his head in his arms and sighed not saying anything to the others.

He listened to the others as they entered the room. This meeting made him uneasy… he'd be seeing Alfred. Maybe. Alfred hadn't been showing up to work or anything, so he'd heard. That just made the other want to shove another bottle of rum down his throat.

His victory at destroying the other never felt like a victory. He had gone home and drank and cried. And he had no idea why he was feeling like this. The only thought that made any sense was that he felt guilty for what he did…

At night Alfred's scream of pain covered up by a clap of thunder echoed in his head. He closed his eyes and saw those tear filled betrayed blue eyes.

So yes… maybe it was his guilt that was slowly consuming him. But he had a terrible feeling it was that and something else.

"France and America are late… and…" the German glanced around the room. "Someone else…"

"China!" Russia said cheerfully.

Arthur's head hurt so bad he didn't feel like correcting that idiot. China wasn't in the G8. Though he did wonder for a little bit who was missing.

Soft but swift steps entered the room. He listened to them carefully as they approached him. "Angleterre," the voice said softly.

Damn. The frog… Arthur slowly sat up straight and turned in his seat to look at the other. "What?" he asked dryly.

A smack echoed in the silence of the room. The sound of chairs being pushed back was heard next.

The Brit had been hit so hard his head was tilted to the side. His eyes were wide and his cheek stung. He was dully aware that France was raising his hand to smack him again.

The German grabbed his arm before the Frenchman could strike him again. "What are you doing?" he growled.

"Damn you, Angleterre!" The Frenchman snarled out.

Arthur slowly turned to look at the other with wide eyes. He placed a hand to his stinging cheek.

"How dare you use someone like that!" he snapped. "Your own petty hate from two hundred years ago is not enough reason to do that to someone's heart. You're a heartless monster. You sit at home and wonder everyone left you. It's because of things like this. You toy around with peoples hearts like that! This is why you're a bitter old man!"

The room was silent as they listened to the French nation.

Japan's eyes narrowed slightly as he put all the pieces together first. "What did England-san do to America-kun?" he demanded.

"Broke his heart because he's still bitter about things long since past. Did you not help tear him apart during his Civil War, Angleterre?" France demanded. "Didn't you want to see him dead? You of all people know how hard civil wars are on a country and still… I think that was enough pay back. And he saved us. Saved me, saved you. in two world wars that he had no business fighting in."

Arthur listened to France bombard him with words, with truths and he felt his eyes start to well up with tears. All the nations in here judging him. Japan knew how much Alfred loved him… he could feel the dark glare he was getting.

"I just…" he had no excuse. He had just been plotting for so long… He suddenly felt so guilty. Even more so then before. Why? Why had he done this? Because he was bitter. Because he wasn't happy unless he was unhappy. Alfred… Alfred had loved him. He told that to everyone he could. He told Arthur all the time. He told them one night when they were lying in the grass watching the fireworks. Fireworks for Alfred's birthday…

"_I'd have waited for you forever." _

_Arthur had glanced over at him "What are you going on about?"_

"_Forever. I've been in love with you forever. And I'd wait and wait even if you never felt the same. I'd still wait…" _

_Arthur wasn't sure what to say. When his plan went through would the other still wait? Like a fool? If he did maybe he'd break his heart a second time around… _

"_I love you Arthur…" _

_The Brit flushed feeling something swell in his chest. "I love you too, git." he said the lie softly, sitting up and leaning over the other to place a soft kiss on his lips. _

"Alfred…" he said softly, swallowing the lump in his throat. His other hand slowly moving to his lips. Why…? Why had he done it? What the bloody hell was wrong with him?

"France-san! How is America-kun? Is he alright."

He heard the soft murmuring all around him but he couldn't make heads of tales of it. Just mindless noise.

"America-san!" Japan's soft voice broke through the fog.

"Mathew…"

"I-I'm sorry… he wanted to come."

"Amérique… you don't look well you should go back home."

Arthur slowly looked up. There he was standing in the doorway in his suit. His tie hung a bit loosely around his neck. His bomber jacket was wrapped tightly around him. His blond hair was messy. And he did indeed look sick. No better off then him. But worse. Those blue eyes. They looked broken. That was his fault. His.

Germany cleared his throat. "If we can get this meeting started…"

"Alfred!" Arthur slammed his hands on the conference table his emerald eyes wide. Tears falling from them. "Alfred… I…I'm…" he struggled to get the words out. He was sorry. He had no right to use the other like that. Alfred had bestowed nothing but love and kindness on him…

Those broken blue eyes were staring at him. Waiting for the other to say something.

"Alfred… Wait for me!"

Blue eyes flashed with something he couldn't quite place. But he watched the other's shoulders shake slightly. The shuddering breath that escaped the other.

"No." the word came out softly. But it wavered in the air. "I love you… but I wont let you break my heart again…I...wont let you use me again.." The words cracked in places but they were said firmly. With that the American turned around and left the conference room.

"Al," Canada called after his brother, Japan following right after.

The Brit's knees were shaking. And that was that. Alfred was gone. Arthur broke him and tossed him out. He didn't deserve another chance anyway.

France finally pulled free of the German but didn't move to strike the Brit again. Instead he spit at the blondes feet and turned on his heel following the others out.

The room was silent now, except for Ludwig's muttering and cursing in German that this meeting was ruined and completely off track.

"Ve~ Germany~" Italy said cheerfully but his large golden eyes were locked on the Brit.

"What?" he grunted.

"If you accidentally kicked a dog. It becomes afraid of you. But eventually if you try hard enough it will forgive you. It takes time. And you need to make it trust you again. But it will love you again."

A childlike giggle escaped the icy nation in the room. Who had been surprisingly silent during it all. "But when a bird is caged then harmed and it gets out, it will never fly back to you." Ivan's violet eyes were alight in amusement.

Italy didn't even spare a glance towards the other. "Birds are earthbound. They eventually fly back to you."

Arthur slowly sank in his chair. Alfred wasn't a dog. And not just some bird. He was a free flying eagle. Alfred… Alfred wasn't ever going to fly back to him.

He never would.

Never.

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><p>AN

If you allow me a few explanations if you will.

Arthur is feeing what we all have felt at some point. If you've done something wrong to someone. You might be fine with it at first. But that guilt slowly eats away at you. The reasoning's behind it seem childish and you just feel terrible. That's what Arthur is feeling.

France is in a tizzy because as the country of love something like this is just unacceptable. And Arthur did it too. Fooling someone into falling in love with you, taking their first time then saying. WELL I was lying. It's not cool. I'd be crushed. Alfred is crushed. And France is pissed.

America is indeed the hero of the two world wars, thus why he's always calling himself one. From the nation's point of view I don't know how Arthur can still be bitter about it. They'd be in quite a state if America hadn't shown up.

England helped the south during America's Civil War because they believed it would be more beneficial to them for trading. I'm writing a story called Let Me Tell You a Story where I will go over how I feel the nations feel when going through a civil war. (the civil war isn't coming up anytime soon tho ) It can't be easy for them being torn in two.

One more thing, I love UkUs. But the reasoning why Alfred leaves, as tempting as it is to say he's doing it so Arthur will see him and love him as something other then a brother… it's not quite right. It is and isn't. You can't have it solely on that reason. Arthur was taxing America's people and treating them unjustly. I try and add that in to keep it historical. Without a doubt Alfred did it to, not to get Arthur to love him, but to notice him.

In my opinion anyway, it was to definitely prove that he's not a colony or brother, but a nation and just him. Just America. But not in hopes that one day Arthur would love him. It's proved time and time again that Alfred is oblivious to those times of things. Especially when it comes to Arthur. At least cannon Hetalia wise. Arthur seems to have a one sided crush on the other though.

I say this even though I didn't write it this way. Derp. And I did just what I said not to do, and added a tiny amount of history. As it is way easier to write these two when it's Alfred that wants Arthur because he will make the effort. The way it really is, to me, is Arthur waiting around for an oblivious country. I may write a fic like that one day. But it'll be no easy task…

I'm the pot calling the kettle black. I know I know…. :U I'll stop talking now.

I got many many lovely reviews. I was most pleased. And I was worried about screwing up a lovely angst filled chapter one by adding to it. But. I actually thing I did well with this one. It seemed sadder to me, at least, then the first one.

I know you lovely little chickadees and chickadoes(?) Will want more of this. That's only an assumption. It could always end here though… The eagle flies away never to return… Kolkolkolkol Ask and you shall receive, loves.


	3. Please See and Believe Again, Alfred

Quick update because I like all of you~

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><p>Drinking. He couldn't get enough in his system to make the pain stop. He had no one to blame but himself. He hated himself so much. So very much. He lay on his couch a bottle of rum in hand. Fighting off a hangover by drinking more. The best cure…<p>

He closed his eyes seeing those sad blue eyes that haunted his dreams. They would never leave him alone. The words of rejection. The screams of pain. He'd hear them forever and ever.

The doorbell rang and it felt like a spike through his head. He cringed and pushed himself into a sitting position. The bell rang again. "Bloody hell…" he ran a hand through his messy blonde hair. He was only going to answer it so the ringing would stop. Plus there was a hope that his bird was here having flown back to him. It wasn't likely… but there was a tiny glimmer of hope.

He staggered into a standing position trying to get to the door before it rang again. He pulled open the large oak door and took a sharp intake of breath. His eyes must be playing trick on him…

Thin frames catching the light were hiding the true eye color… and a flick of hair sticking in the air… but… it wasn't quite right. This piece of hair curled at the end. And now that he blinked a few times he could see that the eyes behind the square frames were not sky blue, but violet.

The man before him bowed his head slightly and cleared his throat. "Forgive me for not calling ahead, I wanted this to be a surprise."

"Austria…" he muttered, stunned that this nation, of all nations was at his doorstep.

"If you would invite me in, please. I brought lunch. I have things I wish to discuss with you." He held up a basket.

The Englishman stepped back and allowed the aristocratic nation into his home. "The place is a mess…" Bottles of all kinds littered the floor. The Brit assumed he didn't look to much better then his messy home.

Roderich's eyes scanned the room taking a deep breath before speaking. "It's quite alright, I was expecting this. I, after all, didn't call ahead. The dinning room then, ja?" he insisted, encouraging Arthur to lead the way.

Arthur nodded, brushing off the insult. He didn't have any energy to argue. He took a few unsteady steps forward and lead them to a much cleaner room. He flopped down in a seat at the long table watching the other. Roderich's eyes scanned the room again before placing the basket he had been carrying on the table.

The Brit hadn't had much of an appetite as of late but that smelled absolutely divine. The Austrian was a brilliant cook. Arthur himself had only had his food a few times, but it was splendid. He sat there staring at the wicker basket as the other rushed around him. Setting plates and silverware from the kitchen in front of him. If he was irritated about a guest doing the host's work he didn't say anything or even show it.

At last the dark haired man sat down, placing tea in front of them both. He then removed the food from the basket and served it. "There you are…" he said softly, picking up his fork and starting his meal.

The blonde watched the other for a moment and then looked down at the meal in front of him. "Why…?"

Roderich placed his fork down and picked up his tea cup. He preferred coffee, but he didn't dare make any as it was the favored drink of someone else... and the last thing he needed was the Brit having a breakdown in front of him. "Because… I have to speak to you. You don't have very many friends these days. And while I consider you, still, a worthless pile of space… I thought I'd lend you my advice since I can relate to your situation."

Emerald eyes winded slightly and his full attention was on the other. "You… you did what I did?"

Violet eyes glanced over at him. "Sort of…" the man took a deep breath. "Long long ago I was married to Spain. Marriages, at the time as you know, were for convenience sake and nothing more. Once that convenience was over, then the marriage was over. Austria tilted his head back. "When my marriage with Spain ended I formed… an alliance of sorts with Prussia."

Arthur's brow furrowed trying to remember such a thing. Austria and Prussia had always been fighting for as long as he could remember.

"It wasn't a marriage. Prussia has never been married. But it was an alliance to keep Denmark in his place. We lived in the same house. It felt like being married some days. We ground each others nerves all the time. But there was something else… we found each other unique in certain ways.

"So one night… when I was playing the piano at a late hour, Gilbert came to me. He closed the lid of my piano and forced me up to sit on top of the instrument. He looked at me slightly and smiled a grin you've probably never seen the Prussian smile." Roderich closed his eyes recalling the memories. "He told me… that he'd been waiting for my marriage with Spain to end… he joined me on top of the piano… and well," the Austrian flushed a pale pink and he tapped his fork on his plate. "You can fill in the blanks…"

Roderich's face became pained. "And can you believe it? Right after that night, what should have been many nights to come. A friendship that could have lasted the ages… nein… not a friendship… a love. They split us apart… the very next morning. And it was from that point on that I made poor choices.

"You see… I was just so hurt that this could happen. I wasn't mad at him, but I took it out on him. I denied such a night ever happened on my piano… denied all the words that were whispered to each other that night. All the actions. Everything.

"I broke his heart… just because he was leaving didn't mean that what we had, would have to end… but it was to late. I realized it all to late. I paid for it. He attacked me viciously many times. Eventually time mends all things. And so we travel down the roads of the World Wars. The second one in particular…

"Germany… Germany was insane… I was annexed and a little less then welcome in his home. But being the kind of person I am… I probably just drove him crazier. I even made Gilbert crazy. I was simply being an aristocrat demanding the best… until… until I found out what he had done to Austria.

"Camps. He littered my land with those vile camps. Killing thousands on my lands." Roderich's hands curled into fists from the memory. "When I caught word I confronted him. With Germany in that dangerous state of mind it was a terrible idea. As I was not blonde nor did I have blue eyes, me speaking to him in the manor I was was unacceptable. I thought he was going to kill me. He made lots of threats… his gun pressed against my head… threatened to change my eye color… Prussia was the one that saved me from that. Prussia wasn't safe from his younger brother either… not having those requirements either. But he snatched me away from the German's grasp and kept me locked in his room. Assured me that he could keep me safe. But I could not do something like that again.

"I was worn out and tired at the time… My people were dying… and the war was going poorly for Germany. But Gilbert stayed with me every night keeping me safe. Holding me.

"Things were finally on the right track between us again. The past being the past. I was being given another chance with him. But… it was not to be. He was snatched from my grasp once more. This time by Russia… and I waited a long time for that wall to come down. But when he returned… he was not the same person. A shell of the person he used to be. And try as I might… I cannot fix him. But even when he was free. He left for long periods of times, still does to this day. I know where he goes. Back to Russia so he can be harmed again."

England took in all the information that he had been given. If took a moment to process. "Why are you telling me this?" he asked softly.

"Because your America is heading down the same destructive path."

England's blood froze. "What do you mean?"

Roderich sighed softly. "He's hurt. Wounded. An injury that just can't be treated. It's on the inside. He needs something to fill in this emptiness. Because to feel pain to him, is better then feeling nothing. Better then feeling that void in his center…" Violet eyes met sad and shocked emerald ones.

"Wh-where is he going?" tears were forming in his eyes.

The Austrian stirred his food around on his plate before giving his answer. "Russia…" he finally said.

A choked out sob escaped the other. Oh God. Why? Why? Why Russia of all people? Because no one else would hurt Alfred… his broken eagle was going to become something unrecognizable in that man's clutches. England put his hands to his face. This was all his fault. His.

"But all is not lost for you, England."

Green eyes dared to look at the other through his fingers. "Tell me… tell me how to save him?"

Roderich turned pitying violet eyes on the other. "It's not that easy. You cannot save that which does not wish to be saved. Do you know what I do for Gilbert?"

England shook his head.

"I leave the window to my music room open. The one where you can see the piano perfectly. And I own not just any piano. That piano where we…" The Austrian flushed slightly, not going into any further details. "I leave the window open so he can 'sneak' into my home. I play for him. I let him sit beside me as I play. I place my hand over his and help him through some parts in songs. At night I leave my bedroom window open. No matter the season. In winter I usually find it closed, even though I left it open. It's been slow work. He still goes to Russia occasionally. But he doesn't come back battered anymore. And he's not gone nearly as long as he used to be. You can not catch a bird. You have to wait for them to come to you. And you must never cage them. One day… Prussia and I will have what we almost had one day." Roderich lifted his cup to his lips taking a long sip. "And you must do the same. You track the American down and try and stop him and he will fly away from you. So you must do what I did. Show him you care. One day…" Roderich placed his cup down on the saucer sharply. "But don't you ever hurt him like that again. If you don't really love him, then don't even bother. Or so help me Arthur…"

Oh he wouldn't. Never again. He had always cared for Alfred. And then he had hated him. And then… when Alfred had saved him in the wars… he had loved him. But he hadn't known it, he was still to bitter. Who did that brat thing he was leaving then coming to save the day like that? His bitterness ran so deep that it was all he could focus on. But seeing now the damage it had caused…

"Thank you Roderich…" he said softly and with all the sincerity he could muster.

The Austrian smiled slightly and nodded his head. "Bitte. You are most welcome Arthur."

* * *

><p>In the days to come he focused on what he could do to make America see that he still cared without saying it. He couldn't chase his eagle. He dug through drawers and trunks. What could he do? Alfred lived on the other side of the ocean. Keeping a window open wouldn't do much good since unlike Prussia, America wasn't a stalker.<p>

So he'd have to do what he could at the meetings to make Alfred see. From there he had to do other things.

His eyes caught something tucked away in the corner of his drawer. A red ribbon… his heart pounded heavily in his chest. But not just any red ribbon. Alfred's favorite red ribbon… the ribbon that he had been wearing when he found him. The ribbon that Alfred had given him as a good luck charm before he left him.

"_Take my ribbon with you!" _

_Arthur turned his eyes on the tiny colony. "I can't take that… that's your favorite ribbon." _

"_Pwease take it… it will bring you luck and keep you safe…" _

_The British Empire felt his heart swell and he knelt down in front of Alfred. "Alright… If you're sure." _

_The little colony smiled happily and took one of Arthur's hands and tied the ribbon clumsily around his wrist. "Come back to me safe and sound, okay?" _

"_I couldn't imagine returning to you in any other state." he pulled the small blonde to him and held him tight._

The memory made tears burn in his eyes. He held the ribbon tightly in his had. He would wear this. He tied the red ribbon around his wrist tightly.

Alfred…

Aside from this ribbon, he didn't have anything else. Nothing that would impress the other and make him see. Alfred had said the he still loved him. He would just have to play on that. But he had to be careful… Alfred wasn't as dumb as many believed. He'd know if he was being bribed or tricked…

He ran a hand through his messy hair wracking his mind for an idea when suddenly a thought came to him. If he could get America to meet him…

Roderich could wait around for his bird, but Alfred was an eagle. But those were rare. Endangered. And his bird was already wounded. If he kept going the way he was he'd be lost beyond return. So he had to speed the process up a bit… Alfred had waited for him for two hundred years. He'd do the same if he was sure that Alfred had that kind of time left.

At the world meeting he'd do what he could to fix this…

* * *

><p>He had stopped drinking and focused all his time and energy into getting Alfred back. If anything, he had to get the other away from Russia. Then he'd wait. As Alfred had done for him. He had gotten to the meeting early. He was normally the first to arrive anyway. Not the past few meetings but…<p>

He took out his notes and began writing thing on the blackboard like he normally did. The points they were going to discuss and so on. He glanced back when he heard soft footsteps. Alfred?

The others brown eyes narrowed slightly when they locked eyes. Japan…

The polite dark haired nation looked like he was about to say something to the blonde but he changed his mind and just took a seat setting his briefcase on the desk. He wasn't surprised… but well he and Japan had been good friends. Of course, after what he had done he wasn't expecting to be treated with anything but distain.

He swallowed slightly and returned to writing points on the board. His eyes fixed on his task as even as others came in. He didn't dare look back.

"Are we actually going to have a meeting this time?" he heard the German growl, though he did sound pleased that something was being done.

Arthur slowly turned around looking over everyone at the table. Everyone was here. Everyone. He tried not to let his eyes linger on the American for to long. He couldn't see the other's face as he had his head lowered reading over documents.

He took a shaky breath and ran his hand through his hair. "Alright let's begin…"

He felt his arm suddenly get grabbed. "Oi!" he shouted turning his eyes on the attacker.

To his slight surprise it was France. Not that France grabbing him was new... but considering how France felt about him right now… it was surprising.

Dark blue eyes narrowed slightly and Arthur couldn't find out what was so fascinating.

"Angleterre…" The Frenchman's fingers slid across his hand to his wrist. What the hell was he doing? And then it clicked.

"Stop!" he jerked his hand away but it was to late.

With a swift tug the Frenchman removed the scarlet ribbon that he had been wearing since he found it. "What is this?" he laughed holding out the item for everyone to see.

The Brit flushed slightly. "Give it back!"

"Why are you wearing this Angleterre? You wear a dark green suit. This little red ribbon…" he ran his fingers along the material carefully. "It's so old. Why?" the Frenchman laughed clutching the ribbon tightly.

Germany sighed placing a hand over his eyes as the meeting had already fallen into disarray.

"It was a gift!" Arthur snapped, holding out his hand. "So give it back!"

"Honhonhonhon," France chuckled still holding the scarlet item out of his reach. "From who?" he asked. "How gave you such an old thin-" France cut himself off feeling the scarlet item being pulled out of his hand.

Arthur stared wide eyed at the American. It was him who had rescued the ribbon. He held it in his hands for a moment looking it over. He knew. He knew…

Alfred's blue eyes looked at him and Arthur couldn't breath. He slowly stepped forward and grabbed Arthur's hand. He was gentle. For someone so strong he was gentle… Alfred had always been gentle with him. Very carefully Alfred tied the red ribbon around Arthur's wrist. A much neater bow then when he was a child.

Arthur watched the American carefully. So much he wanted to say. An apology first and foremost. But he couldn't get anything out. Not a word.

Alfred patted his wrist and turned away leaving the room. Arthur closed his eyes tight and brought his hand up to his chest. He took a deep breath. Alfred…

"Can we please get this meeting started!" the German demanded slamming his fist on the table.

Arthur's eyes flew open. "Right…" He looked around the room. Three empty chairs… three…? Alfred wasn't here… and then his and…His emerald eyes swept across the room. Who else wasn't here. Japan. Italy. Romano… Germany… France…that… blonde haired nation that kind of looked like America… Where was Russia…?

"I'm sorry, I'll be right back…" he dropped his notes on the table and hurried out despite Ludwig's angry shouts. Where? Where had they gone? He hurried down a hallway desperate to find the American.

How? How could he stand idly by and let Russia hurt the other?

He heard a clank. A pipe. A faucet pipe was all he could think. He hurried back down the hall. The bathroom. He put his hand on the handle ready to yank open the door.

A hand was placed on the door keeping it closed. "Nein…"

Arthur turned around angrily to knock out whomever was stopping him from saving the other. Angry emeralds met scarlet ones.

His anger ebbed away slightly. Austria's story about them coming to mind. Gilbert had been in Alfred's place. "Prussia…"

"Stopping this… will only make him hate you."

"But…" Arthur's eyes filled with tears.

The albino slowly pulled the other away from the door. The noises coming from inside were making his insides churn. He could hear the grunts and moans. He wanted to say he was imagining it. But he could hear his name being moaned out...

"No buts. Go in after." A small smile pulled at the other's lips. "As painful as it is… it feels good. Pain fills in all the other feeling. It's the aftermath that sucks… because now you're hurt and empty. So go in after."

The Brit put his hands to his face. The guilt was going to tear him apart. Alfred's muffled whimpers of his name. Ivan's childish laugh. The thuds… Alfred was young. Still so innocent in may ways. While he was strong he needed to be treated delicately. He had an arrogant hero complex. But je was also a romantic. Where kissing in the rain and making love on the beach were dreams come true for him.

He ruined Alfred's first time. He didn't take the care he should have. Didn't treat him as well as he should have. And then crushed him. Told him he wasn't even that good. That he didn't love him.

And now the American was in dangerous hands. Hands that only knew how to hurt and break…

"I made such a terrible mistake…" he let out a choked sob.

The Prussian took a step back from the Brit and sighed crossing his arms over his chest. "But it's not to late to fix it."

It wasn't. He would wait hundred and hundred of years for other understand he was sorry. He would wait hundred and hundred of years for Alfred to come back to him…

"You and Austria…" he suddenly said glancing up at the other.

Scarlet eyes flashed at the Brit and sighed once more. "I forgive him."

"Then why?"

"Prussia no longer exists. Yet I'm still here. For who knows how long. I have no idea what my fate is. I know the moment I come back to him… I'll end up being taken away again. And I can't do that to him again. Some things just aren't meant to be."

It was so sad. So heartbreakingly sad… he didn't want that fate for him and Alfred. He didn't want it. He wanted them to spend as much time as he could together. No more hurting each other and leaving.

"Gilbert…"

"Ah. Don't worry about it. I watch him and look out for him still. He's waiting for me though, and I want him to stop. I want to give him what he wants… but I can't." The Prussian's eyes were glassy. "It's alright… if I ever get my country back, heh, I'd be at his doorstep in a heartbeat."

England felt even more pangs of guilt at Gilbert's fate but he didn't have long to dwell on it. The door to the bathroom opened up and the icy nation walked out, adjusting his black leather gloves. "Oh… guests. Little rabbit~" his child like grin grew and his eyes lit up. "Did you come here to play~?"

"Fuck off Ivan." The Prussian growled.

"Well that can-"

"Shut up." Arthur hissed placing himself in between the two. "Get to the meeting Ivan…"

Milky violet glanced down at the Brit and he smirked slightly before turning away. "Alright then~"

Prussia rolled his eyes muttering curses in German. "I'm going to go torment Sealand some more," he nodded over at the bathroom door. "Now you can go in."

Right! Arthur quickly turned placing his hands on the door to the bathroom and pushed it open slightly. He heard hitched breathing as he entered. His eyes scanned the bathroom, seeing the American in the corner. It tore the other's heart apart. He swallowed slightly as he stepped forward heading towards the sink. He grabbed a bunch of paper towels and soaked them with cold water. He swallowed and walked over to the American, kneeling before him. He looked over the other. His pants were undone, his front was a bit messy. Probably his rear too. He could probably guess the damage from under the American's clothes.

He reached out and lifted Alfred's head up a bit. Bruises along his jaw. And dark ones around his neck. He took the damp paper towels and gently ran it along the American's face. Cleaning up the dried tears, the blood, and other unfavorable substances. They were silent as Arthur cleaned up the other. Sky blue eyes and emerald ones avoided each other. England cleaned up the other to the best of his ability. He couldn't stop the pain the other was feeling. Physically or eternally.

He licked his lips slightly and leaned in to plant a light kiss on the other. As he suspected Alfred moved away. But it was more of a flinch.

"Alfred." he began slowly. "I… I can't apologize enough. It wont change what I did. Or how wrong it was. It wont change anything." He looked up into blue eyes. "But I am sorry. So terribly sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I'm so bitter that I couldn't… I'm just sorry. I want more then anything for you to forgive me someday. Right now… this path your walking down… with him… I'll do whatever it takes for that to stop happening."

Alfred was silent. His blue eyes dull. Broken. So Arthur continued.

"I wronged you. Wronged you in a way I shouldn't have. Should never ever have. I tossed aside all your love. And gave you false love in return. One day. Please. Please forgive me. Not today, or tomorrow. I'll wait. I'll wait for you as you waited for me. I'll wait for two hundred years. Three hundred. However long it takes. I'll wait…" he cupped Alfred's face gently running his thumb along the soft skin. "I'm sorry, I love you, please see and believe me."

The American closed his eyes. Tears falling from his eyes and the Brit brushed them away with his thumb as the touched his skin.

He removed his hands from the other's face and pulled the ribbon undone from around his wrist. He took the scarlet cloth and slowly, not wanting to scare the other with his sudden movements, moved the ribbon over the American's head. He placed the delicate red cloth around the Alfred's neck making sure it hid the bruises that were there. And he tied it in a neat bow for the other. Like how he used to.

"You are not my little brother. You are not my colony. You are not Alfred Kirkland anymore. You are Alfred Jones. My friend. My ally. Someone whom I love dearly. You are the United States of America…" he took a deep breath and cupped the other's cheeks once again. "And I am the United Kingdom. We are bound together in many ways. With many things in common. Even our names. One day. However long it takes." he pressed his forehead against the others, closing his eyes tight. "One day… we will be United once more. Not as The United States and the United Kingdom. But as Alfred and Arthur."

There was silence. He hadn't expected the other to say anything. He hadn't really expected the other to even listen this long. And he was grateful that he was.

"Why did you give me the ribbon back?" Alfred's voice was hoarse, but his heart soared at the sound of it.

"Because I don't deserve it. When you're ready… you may give it back to me. When you can trust me not to hurt you again. And I know… I know that day may never come. But…"

"You'll wait…?"

"I will…"

The American let out a soft sigh, letting his head rest against the tiled wall of the bathroom.

"Just… stay away from Russia," he pleaded softly. "Don't let him ruin you anymore… You deserve to be treated better…" Tears fell from Arthur's eyes and he buried his face in the American's chest. The thought of what Alfred would become if he continued to fall pray to Russia…

"You ruined me first…"

The words hurt. It hurt that they were true. "I know… but I will fix you… if you give me the chance. Let me pick up the pieces."

"I… need time to think."

Alfred nodded slightly. He could do that. As long as it takes…

They stayed like this for a while. Curled up in the corner of a bathroom. Arthur's head resting against the American's chest. Listening to that strong heart beat. That god awful sound of bones fixing themselves. Anything fractured and broken was slowly healing. The soft breathing that sounded hitched and painful was slowly becoming normal again. But it was the heartbeat he focused on. This may be the last time he could do this… if Alfred didn't give him another chance. So he cherished this moment.

He nuzzled into the other's chest, Alfred had fallen asleep. His body trying to heal itself. "I love you Alfred…" From now on he would say those words and mean them. And he'd wait. He'd wait forever.

There was a feeling deep down inside that whispered in his ear that he would, in fact, be waiting forever…

A/N

Prussia and Austria? WAT? I loves them deal with it. B|

But really. I think one of the more doomed ships is Austria and Prussia. Each missing each other my moments. Austria always in another marriage. Prussia always alone. And then, Prussia was taken away. What becomes of a nation that no longer has it's land? It's a set up for more tragedy so the two keep their distance, romantically. In my head at least.

But I hope you didn't feel stuffed with PruxAus. I thought it'd be a breath of fresh air since Mattie and Francis are usually the second pair in these. But that's because it makes sense XD Austria? Y U AT ENGLAND'S HOUSE? :U I felt that Austria might still feel a little bit of bitter resentment towards the Brit because of being ditched back when Prussia was stealing vital regions. But his situation in my head best fit England's.

I'm sorry, _I love, please see and believe again_. Is a lyric in a song by Fayleaf. (not the I'm sorry. I added that) Called _**Again**_. I saw a dazzling AMV of it featuring UKUS and I loved it. So I snagged the line. It's actually the chorus. _Here you are, down on your knees again. Trying to find air to breath again. And only surrender will help you now. I love you please see and believe again. _I just had to snag it for this fic.

Russia is always the bad guy in my stories. He's perfect for raping the characters I love. I actually had planned France to be taking Alfred in the stairwell and Arthur saw them. But then after the fit he had with Arthur last chapter I realized he probably wouldn't be all Honhonhonhon around Alfred. I also considered Spain… But only for a second! And decided I'd just have Russia do it. It works.

Now why is Alfred looking for something? Well. Arthur ripped his heart to bits. And it's nice to feel something even if it's not real. Numbness is nice too. But just for a moment to feel something even if it's painful is nice if only for a fleeting moment. That's how I think Alfred feels.

Pretend to love me… if only for a moment. Even if it's not real. I'll play more with this feeling (MAYBE) next chapter.

How many more chapters hmmm? Not sure. We'll just all have to wait and see~


	4. You Said You'd Wait Forever, Arthur

After the bathroom incident days passed. The days turned into weeks. And the weeks turned into months.

World meetings happened. G8 meetings happened. And Alfred and Arthur never spoke to each other. The time that passed without Alfred, without being forgiven was driving him crazy. It never got any easier. The more time that passed the worse he felt. He had lost Alfred again. Pushed him away again. This time on purpose… this is what he got for being the bitter bastard he was. It was to much for his old heart to take.

Alfred was never coming back to him… Never…

"You said you'd wait. So you better wait." The Austrian sat across from him at the table. They were at a world meeting on a lunch break. Roderich lifted a cup to his lips sipping his coffee. The smell of it made him think of Alfred… miss how he used to taste like coffee in the morning… coffee sugary cereal or donuts… and that god awful bubblegum toothpaste he loved so much, because he couldn't get mint like the rest of the civilized world…

"I can wait…"

"As time passes… it does get easier. But the first few years are the hardest." Hungary stated. She hadn't been as kind as Austria had been. He had done a horrible thing, he didn't blame her for hating him… As for her words… she would know. Being forced apart after the first world war, ruining her and Austria's empire, then being taken by Russia after the second…

A laugh that he hadn't heard in a while echoed throughout the cafeteria. He quickly looked over to the young American. He was sitting at a table with that… blonde boy, France and Kiku.

As sad as it was to hear, it was also good as well. To hear Alfred laughing. Nothing forced. He could tell the difference when it came to that boy. He was getting better… recovering. Eventually he'd move on.

Even more time passed on. The summer turned into a cool autumn. The leaves turned golden and brown. Arthur watched in the meetings as America took his seat at the front again. Physically pushing Germany away, and going on about his crazy ideas. Ideas that he'd normally shoot down, no matter what, he stayed silent about. Germany had enough sense not to allow such foolish plans go through. He couldn't find it in him to crush Alfred's stupid ideas.

The leaves eventually faded away and winter came. Coating the land with snow and frost. The Brit found himself checking the mail box every day for an invitation to a big Christmas party in America… but no such invite came his way. It was to be expected, but it didn't make stop the terrible pain that came with it as Christmas came and went.

And soon enough the snow melted away and everything started to bloom again. Life was returning to the world.

"Finland, do you remember that place where you found that little boy?"

Arthur didn't bother to glance up at either of them. Assuming that little boy was Sealand… and if that was the case it was on that abandon wreckage out at sea….

"Oh! No, I'm afraid not… well, not really, France. It was over two hundred years ago! I doubt that field is still there! Everything is so different now."

Field…?

"Ah… well finding the little one wasn't as important to you as it was to myself~ I remember it like it was yesterday. That little boy with the bright red ribbon. He should've gone with me…"

America…!

"You think you could still find that field today? I really doubt it!"

Why? Why did France bring up the field? Was it a trick?

"Honhonhon, I bet if someone went looking for the field they might get a surprise…"

Arthur's emerald green eyes looked up at France, but the frog wasn't looking at him. His gaze still on Finland's confused face.

"What…? Hehe… what are you talking about France?"

Arthur shoved everything back in his briefcase. It could be a trick. Something to get him lost in the wilderness for days on end. Searching for something that just didn't exist anymore… but… he just felt the need to go there and check.

Did he know where that field was? Of course. He went there everyday to win over little America. Even if America tore up that field and made a shopping center out of it. He'd still know where it was. His heart was drawn to that place. The place where he got his most precious colony. A colony today that had become it's own nation. His most powerful alley. His savior on more then one occasion. And someone he loved very deeply.

But he had ruined it before he really grasped it.

He was already in America for the meeting. Getting to the field would be no problem at all. It would just take time.

It was nearly sunset by the time he had reached the all to familiar field. It still looked the same… beside the wheat other flowers and thing were growing. It had grown wild… but he'd know this field anywhere. Here a little boy with blonde hair, had come forth, a rabbit in his arms. Sky blue eyes… so bright. Unafraid of him. That little boy who had chosen him instead of France. That little boy who had called him brother. Big brother. Who said the words without hate and disdain, unlike his older brothers who hated and loathed him. That little boy who had grown so big and strong… That little boy who had broken free of his tight restraints and flown free. That bird had flown back to him. No longer little. All grown up and strong. Protecting and loving him unconditionally. And then… he had broken that bird. And now it was gone again…

And here he was standing in a field like a complete git… he pressed his hands to his face. Why was he here? There was no one else here… He was such a fool…

He peeked out between his fingers to see a small little rabbit come from the wheat. It was small… probably just a baby… the little rabbit scurried back into the safety of the long golden stalks and for some reason the Brit was compelled to follow it. Following him into the wheat for a few feet. He pushed his way through the golden stalks, losing sight of the little rabbit as it darted around the fallen leaves and thick grass. Why was he following some stupid baby rabbit anyway…?

Arthur stumbled out of the stalks and into a clearing. His emerald eyes wide as he looked at what else was here.

He was here…. America… lying on his back and staring at the fading sky blue sky… with little baby rabbits crawling all over him…

The young blonde tilted his head back further to look at Arthur. "Hey." he said simply.

"H-Hey…" he didn't know what else to say. What could he say?

"I've been waiting for you…"

"For me…?"

"Yeah… for a while…"

Arthur slowly sank to the ground. His knees just brushing blonde hair. "A while?"

"I figured… this was the perfect place. If you really wanted to find me, you'd find this place. But then I realized you couldn't come find me if you didn't know I was waiting… you were giving me the time I requested… so I mentioned to France where I was… and here you are…"

"I'd know this place… anywhere. It's important to me…"

Alfred tilted his head back again to look at Arthur. "Yeah?"

"Of course."

There was silence between them for a while. Just the patter of the rabbits crawling all over the place. Chewing noisily on the grass and other things. "Here…"

Arthur looked at the item that was being held out. The red ribbon. His heart started beating a thousand miles an hour. He reached out with a shaky hand and took it. "F-for me? You're giving this back to me?"

"It's hard… it's to hard to not want to be with you. You've been my goal for my whole life. Something I've wanted more then anything… even… even if you don't want me… can you pretend…? Pretend to love me? That'd be enough."

Arthur shook his head. And leaned over the American. Emerald eyes meeting Sapphires. "No… no I wont pretend. It will be real. I promise you. I will love you like I should have loved you. Unconditionally. And I know it will take you a while to believe that it's real. But it is. And I will do all I can to make you believe it. This time will be different…"

Alfred sighed softly, uncertain if this was true or not. "I want to believe you… It'd be nice to believe."

Arthur smiled sadly. He cupped the American's cheek, a bit awkwardly because of the way there were positioned… but it worked… "Then… even if it takes forever, I'll make you believe. When I say I love you, I mean it."

"Even if it takes forever?"

"Even if it takes forever, I'll keep trying till you believe me." He gave the other a small smile and pressed his lips against the American's. Something soft and gentle. And he felt his heart skip a meat when those lips moved against his gently.

Alfred smiled slightly. "Just like Spiderman… the kiss…"

Arthur sighed and shook his head. "That movie was terrible."

"Screw you… it was awesome…"

Arthur moved from where he was sitting to lay beside Alfred. He nuzzled into the taller nation's side. Wrapping an arm around him. The fading blue and pink were turning darker, and the nighttime sky was slowly coming out to great them.

He was happy. For the first time in a while. Even though things were not fixed. Only on there way to being mended. He was happy. They could start over… he could do things right this time. Make Alfred slowly fall in love with him for the right reasons. There would be no broken hearts, and no bitterness to cloud his judgment. Not this time.

One more chance. His last chance.

* * *

><p>AN

My muse killed herself… it's as simple as that. I resurrected her after watching HetaOni and life became good. Sorry for the late update! I do apologize. And I thank you all for your wonderful reviews 3 Sorry if this chapter sucked D; Anyway one chapter left. Stay tuned.


	5. We're Going to Be Fine, Alfred

Arthur wasn't sure what he was expecting. But he always had a worry deep in his heart and the back of his mind that Alfred would just one of these days… Alfred would just get up and leave him… as he had done to Alfred. Leaving him with these words… "I lied." He knew though… Alfred would never do that. The boy was not that cruel. He knew this… Still. It'd serve him right if he was abandoned as such. It was something he deserved and he couldn't stop feeling nervous and worried.

"Is something wrong?"

Arthur looked into concerned sky blue eyes. They were having lunch together. At McDonalds of course... He did hate that London was filled with these places too…

"I…" he began poking at the wilting green leaves of this "salad." "I worry…"

"Bout what?" Alfred tilted his head to the side.

"About… us. I guess…"

Alfred frowned at this. Unease and worry so clearly written in his face. A fear, much like Arthur's… but this one was all the more rational. That fear that Arthur was going to make a fool out of him again.

Arthur dropped the plastic fork and waved his hand. "No! No no… not like that. Please don't make that face." He took a deep breath. "It makes me sound horrible for even mentioning it… But… I worry that… you'll leave me… hurt me… as I hurt you."

It broke his heart to see the look Alfred gave him at this. "I would never do that to someone." Sky blues wouldn't even look at him now. "Even if they hurt me again and again that way… I'd never do that in return."

"I know! I'm sorry… God… I'm such an arse… I know Alfred." He ran his hands through his messy blonde hair. "I'm sorry I said anything…"

Alfred was silent now. Just picking at his fries and burger. Damn… why was he so bad at this? Why… did he just keep screwing things up more and more… twisting what should be wonderful into something horrible.

He swallowed and toyed with the red ribbon on his wrist. "A-Alfred?"

The other blonde made a small sound in response.

Arthur leaned over the small table and tilted Alfred's head up to look at him. "May… I give you something… something for you to have… that's important to me like your ribbon was important to you…?"

Alfred blinked a few times and smiled brightly. A warm sunny smile. One he loved so much. It made Arthur smile back. He couldn't help but do it too. "Yes… please! If you don't mind. I'd love to have something of yours… to have always…"

Arthur leaned in further and kissed his blonde on the forehead. A rare show of public affection. Something he'd been trying to do more. Anything to show Alfred he cared… and was serious this time. "I'm glad. Hurry up and finish your meal then we'll walk back to my place and I'll find something for you to have."

But what? That was a good question…

He'd been digging through trunks for a good hour now… trying to find something important to him… and also something Alfred could carry on hand always… but it was a difficult. He'd found his old pirate hat, which Alfred would probably love to have but… that wasn't something he could always have with him…

This was becoming embarrassing… He could feel sky blue eyes watching him… waiting…

Arthur growled and threw open another trunk desperate to find something. Anything…

"Arthur… you don't-"

"I do! This is important!" he snapped unintentionally. He just… "I just have to have something… I know I do. Something perfect for you. I'm so old. I have so many things. So much history… There is something just for you in one of these. I just know it…"

Alfred took a seat on an already rifled through trunk and shuffled his feet, a tiny smile on his face. He stayed silent just waiting for Arthur to find something or give up.

But after another hour of digging through old things… he was beginning to feel that this was hopeless… Did… he really have nothing…? Nothing he could give to Alfred…?

"Arthur…?" He sighed sadly. "What Alfred…?"

"Can I have this…?"

Arthur turned around to see what Alfred had found. His eyes lit up and he smiled. "My old compass…" He stood and walked over to where Alfred was. "A pirates dearest friend…"

Alfred smiled up at the blonde. "So… may I? I could wear it under my shirt… even if it is a bit bulky… I'll keep it safe though."

Arthur gave the American a warm smile. "Alfred… of course you may. This compass…" he took it out of the other's hand and inspected it… yes… this was the one. "It led me back to you… oh so many times… My little America."

Alfred's smile grew bigger at these words. "I never needed a compass to lead me to you… I always knew…"

Arthur clutched the item to his chest tightly and leaned in to kiss his America. His… _his_ dearest America.

He could feel Alfred's smile as the other gently kissed him back. For one so strong he was always so gentle. Arthur slowly pulled away, placing the compass back into Alfred's hands. "For you. If you're ever lost… it will lead you back to me…"

Alfred hummed softly at these words. "Arthur… please know… I will never be cruel… and leave you as you left me."

Arthur placed a finger over the American's lips and hushed him. "I know… I know… You're not a horrible bitter person like I am… I am just grateful you've come back to me… I should not have even mentioned it… I'm sorry."

He gently ran his fingers over the American's cheek, who gratefully leaned into his hand. Every touch… every bit of affection… Alfred soaked it in. Welcomed and savored it.

"Please… stop being sorry. Just be you… let's put this behind us… please? No more thinking on it… I don't want to. It hurts… so… let's be done with it…"

Arthur smiled. His sweet Alfred. "Okay… forgotten…" Alfred… Alfred the one who was hurt was the one who wanted to drop it… Arthur ran his fingers through the boy's hair. Knowing how much he enjoyed it… especially when fingers strayed towards that little bit of hair that stuck right up. "But… let's… let's make love tonight… Do it right this time around…"

Alfred swallowed nervously, glancing up at Arthur with uncertainty in his eyes. It broke his heart… "I mean…!" Arthur quickly tried to correct. "You don't have to if you don't want to… we can wait. I just wanted to completely clear everything up… start over…"

Alfred shook his head. "It… it's not about that. I mean… I don't want you to fuck me to make something bad go away… It should be done… in the moment. In… a fit of passion and love… not out of obligation…"

"Of course…" He leaned in and pressed his forehead against Alfred's. "You're so young still Alfred… how are you so much wiser then I?"

Alfred let out a soft laugh, wrapping his arms around the other. He had no answer. He just made lots of romance movies… watched a lot of those movies. He loved cheesy cliché things. He wanted his romance to be perfect like that. And while this one started off more then a little rocky… he knew he could fix it to be everything he hoped it could be.

"Alright then… we'll wait… for the right moment. And I'll make you fall in love with me… all over again."

Alfred beamed nuzzling into the Brit's stomach. "All over again you say… It's been a long time since I first fell…"

"Oh?" Arthur grinned, continuing to run his fingers through the soft hair. "How long… how long have you loved me…?"

"God… forever Arthur… I mean… I was really mad at you for a really long time…" Alfred sighed, his fingers making little patterns on Arthur's lower back. "But… maybe it really hit me… once the nineteen hundreds rolled around…"

"A hundred years…" Arthur murmured. Such a long time… To sit and wait… and long after someone… While Alfred had been pining for him, he'd been bitter… making plans… that was past now… Like Alfred asked of him… "Will you love me for a hundred years?" Arthur asked curiously.

"Easily."

Arthur smiled bright, tears forming in his eyes. "Let's go upstairs… I'll… start the fire place. Put in a movie for you… and… and-"

"Cuddle with me~?"

"Yes." He kissed Alfred again, pulling him up after their lips finally parted.

"We're going to be alright…"

Alfred held his compass tightly to his chest. "I've always thought so."

Yes… despite everything. All he'd lived through and done to Alfred… and vice versa… they were going to be fine. Even if things for some reason soured… they were still Alfred and Arthur… their feelings never had to change. He'd remember that… should that day ever come where relations between the United Kingdom and the United States of America become bad.

"I love you Alfred…"

"I love you too, Arthur!"

It was said quickly. Without hesitation. Like he used to. So… things were really going to be okay… more than okay.

He tugged the American up the stairs and made him comfortable on the sofa before hurrying to make them some snacks. Some coffee and cookies for Alfred. Tea for him.

Before he knew it he was back on the sofa with Alfred, watching some… horrible American movie he managed to find on the telly.

He didn't mind though. He was comfortable and cozy beside the man he'd always loved. He was just to stupid to realize it until recently…

He was lucky… Lucky that Alfred still said the words like I love you to him. Still lucky that he was allowed to be this close to the lad again.

"Thank you for the compass…" Alfred said softly.

"Nothing to thank," Arthur replied, with a smile. "I am happy to give it to you."

Alfred hummed pleased and leaned into Arthur, nuzzling into the Brit.

The elder smiled, setting his tea aside so he could wrap his arms around the American. Yes… they were going to be perfectly fine.

* * *

><p>Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I'm so sorry. How do I end a fic? I don't freaking know… I had this done a week ago. 10 pages. Sex scene. Wrapped up the story of Prussia and Austria. And then my computer ate it. I just didn't have the heart to write it all up again. Yes. I know that makes me lazy and a fail. I just couldn't. So you have this and I'm sorry. ;A; I sorta thought it fit better anyway… but I don't know. I'm just sorry…<p> 


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